Episode 69: Class of 2022 - Lauren, MA Ancient History

Please note that this episode includes references to an eating disorder which some listeners may find distressing.
In this episode, Lauren talks to us about finding your path, loving a nine-to-five, and tidying as a distraction

Multi Story Edinburgh brings you voices and experiences from the University of Edinburgh community.

In this season we talk to graduates from the Class of 2022. How are things going? What did they learn? What helped and are we back to normal yet? We also ask our guests to tell us where they go when they need to get away from it all and what do they do when things get a bit too much.

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All opinions expressed are those of the individual and do not necessarily reflect those of the University of Edinburgh.

Multi Story Edinburgh has been created and produced by the Alumni Relations team at the University of Edinburgh. If you are interested in telling your story, please get in touch and let's talk.

Music from freemusicarchive.org: Since When by Mise Darling and Gentle Chase by Podington Bear

Artwork: Vector created by upklyak / Freepik 

Transcript

[Theme music] 

Voiceover 00:13 

Welcome to Multi Story Edinburgh, bringing you voices and experiences from the University of Edinburgh community. 

Lauren 00:25 

I am Lauren. I studied Ancient History at Edinburgh Uni. And I started in 2018 and graduated this year 2022. So, now I work at a solicitors and estate agents in Edinburgh. So I started working there as sort of like a receptionist kind of thing over the summer. Went to be a Property and Legal Assistant after a few months. And now I'm training to be a Conveyancing Paralegal, started that in September, that's like a year-long course on the job. And after a year or two, I will be a qualified Conveyancing Paralegal.  

Lauren 01:08 

When I sort of was looking at what I wanted to do at uni, I sort of wanted to do like a Humanities, History, English type of thing, because I thought that I might want to do a conversion course into Law after my degree, and do-- do it that way. And then from sort of being at uni, that like completely changed. And I wanted to go into social media marketing, for ages. That's what I really wanted to do. Like I’d just completely forgotten about Law. I was really done with uni after like, the second year, I was done with studying, I did not want to do any more. So I sort of was like, well, if I do want to go on to be a lawyer solicitor, that's another two years conversion, a year doing the LLB I think it's called in Scotland, and then a two year traineeship. So that's like another five years I'd be studying. I just wasn't feeling that at all. That was never on the radar. And I really wanted to go into social media marketing. And I was sort of like doing a lot of like work experience for that kind of comm-- not so doing a full circle-- just come back to what I actually wanted to do. I mean, when I wanted to do Law, I didn't think I'd be selling and buying houses [laugh]. I'd be doing, I don't know, defending people in courts. But yeah.  

Lauren 02:34 

So—I, throughout uni, like worked with different brands and different companies, through my social media, sort of, like micro-influencing. And I really enjoyed it, because companies just throw free things at you. And it's like just post some pictures on Instagram. And I was like, brilliant, great. And then about, say, second year of uni, like I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. And I literally had disordered eating since I was probably about 11 or 12. And throughout I'd say second, third, and definitely fourth year. But it was second and third year where it was the worst, like my eating disorder was horrific to deal with. And the last thing I wanted to be doing was taking pictures of myself and posting them on Instagram. Because there's so much like going on. The whole body dysmorphia aspect of it just was so difficult. Yeah, just sort of fizzled out, really, I was like, just not... One, it's not what I want to be doing. And two, I don't think it's like-- to me it felt wrong to post like all these pictures of myself, like doing things in nice outfits and stuff, when half the time I put the outfit on for what, half an hour, take a picture and make it look like I was having fun. And I wasn't. And that's just not a message that I wanted to be a part of. If you know what I mean.  

Lauren 04:15 

So I have never been good at advice [laugh], taking advice. I will like listen to what other people say. But ultimately, there's no advice that anyone in the world can give me if I don't already think that myself. It's crazy because I know a lot of people have bad things to say about the University Health Service and the support that they either did or didn't get from their personal tutors and stuff. But I received amazing support from my personal tutor, eventually from the Uni Health Service. It took a while [laugh]. I had all my friends who were so supportive and I think it's a difficult thing to, to get your head around, and it was difficult. It was definitely difficult for my family to understand. But I've just been very lucky to have always had a really good support network. But I think this past year, I have learned to go with the flow a little bit, lots of things have happened, and my life hasn't ended up how I planned it to go. But I'm happy in my job, I'm happy in Edinburgh, in the life that I've got, and I know that things are going to change again, I think that that's okay. I feel better prepared for change. Knowing that I've gone through all sorts of different types of change over the past few years, so I sort of think, well, I can deal with that then I can deal with this.  

Lauren 06:02 

I don’t know to explain it. I like having something to work towards. And I like that workplace progression. I like knowing that, you know, you can start from the bottom somewhere, and work your way up based on merit. And, like the work that you do, the work you put in, which I felt with university, your merit isn't based on the work you put in, the time you put in, it all accumulates in whatever percentage you get. And I don't like that. But doing something, like having a job where you can progress. It's just lots of little things. You know, it's how, how you are as a person, the commitment that you put into the job, colleagues, that sort of thing. And I just prefer that to writing an essay on ancient Rome. Who was I kidding? I'm-- I love a nine-to-five. What's wrong with a nine to five? Everyone gives it so much slander, I love a nine to five! 

Lauren 07:06 

I definitely don't feel like I haven't valued those four years that I had, I loved them. I don't look back and think, oh, I should have made the most out of this. Or, I did that. But I also think there's so much pressure when you go to uni. Everyone's in your ear, like these are the best times of your life, you better enjoy them. And it's like, oh my god, like what if I don't, and you get so scared. And I'm not saying that they weren't. Like, arguably some of the years that I've had at uni have probably been some of the worst years of my life so far. But no, I-- I loved uni. But I'm ready for this now. I'm ready for this change. There's obviously a part of me that thinks oh, I'd love to be at uni, you know, like, one lecture a day, go to the pub. But there's also a part of me that needs the stability of a job, the stability of a nine-to-five. Like 18 is so young, and you think you know everything. And you kind of-- that 18 to 22 jump is huge. Uni was one step in growing up, I guess. So now, I'm on to the next step.  

[Theme music] 

Voiceover 08:23 

We also asked our guests to tell us where they go when they need to get away from it all. And what do they do when things get a bit too much? 

Lauren 08:33 

I feel like [laugh] -- I feel like so many people are going to hate this. And I actually hate myself for it. Cleaning, tidying. Like, give me a stack of dishes or organise my wardrobe, just something like that. Just some, like, mundane task that has a start and has an end and has an outcome. You know, you do the dishes, the kitchen’s clean, great. I'm actually the most boring person ever. Like I love my nine-to-five, love doing my dishes. I just like getting things done. That's what I like. And if there’s something out of my control, then I can do something like tidy my room, clean my flat, and then that brings the control back. But that's like my whole eating disorder that I struggled with was about control and about trying to control aspects of my life through food. And now I don't use that anymore. And I can find control by doing different things. Instead of unhealthy things. I don't know how to explain it. 

[Theme music]  

Voiceover  09:46 

Join us again soon for more voices from your Edinburgh community. 

[Theme music] 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai